I recently stumbled upon my friend Hailey Jade’s “13 situations in which I’m happy to be single” post, and after being an eternal single for years I could definitely relate to lot of the things she mentioned in her post. Seriously, I still “joke” about joining a monastery at some point in life. It would definitely save me a lot of trouble. A lot has changed for me in the past year (remind me to maybe write a “My 2015”-type of post this week still), and a lot of these things also prompted me to think a lot more about what it means to me to be single vs. being in a relationship. So anyway, here’s my take on the “situations in which I used to be happy to be single”:
1. When going out clubbing with friends. Hailey has mentioned this already, but for me it’s less about the freedom to do so without being judged, and more about being surrounded by sweaty, drunken frat-boys trying to hit on and groping everything with a skirt. They should just invent “Girl’s Only”-clubs already. The saddest thing however is that no matter how pathetic the guys are, there are *always* a bunch of girls fighting to get their attention or even leave with them. Note to all the girls: There’s a difference between enjoying your freedom to do what- (and who-)ever you want, and scrapping for every bit of attention any male might give you. If you really need that kind of attention, you might wanna go home and practice some self-love first. Seriously, you’ll thank me later.
2. When they wanna marry you right away … On a similar note, I’ve had too many of these guys I’ve met 5 minutes ago tell me I’m the love of their life to ever take any guy seriously again. I’ve had guys who insisted on being in a relationship after the first date. Okay, every situation and relationship is different, and if you’ve been friends/flatmates/co-workers for some time then one official date might well be enough to change your relationship status to something more exclusive. But if we’re thinking traditional dating, GIVE US SOME TIME!
3. … or they’re just not that into you. They just string you along, tell you everything you want to hear when you ask them to be more committed, but never follow through with their promises. It’s one thing if one person has stronger feelings for the other than vice versa. That sucks but it happens and it’s nobody’s fault. But when you’re too cowardly to tell the other person straight up or you keep playing them until someone better comes along, you suck.
4. When girlfriends have to ask their boyfriends before making plans. Okay, I fully understand that you want to spend the little free time you both have together, especially if you’re both working full-time. But more often than not it feels like asking for permission to spent some time with other people, and that’s a total no-go! Depending on what you’re planning you could ask if your partner can join as well, or unless you really haven’t seen each other in a while and you desperately need that quality-time together, just go for that girl’s night (or day) out. He can survive one day without you.*
5. Dates are just sales pitches. Last but not least, dating can be so terribly stressful. It can and should be fun as well, but in the end, it’s just trying to convince the other person in a very limited amount of time that you are interesting, funny and attractive enough to go on another date. Which is then just the same thing all over again. Until at some point that person decides to upgrade from a free trial to a subscription aka relationship, which can be terminated at only one second notice at any time as well though. So in the end, you have to keep winning them again and again and again until forever. Okay, maybe I’m stressing out a little bit too much about this, but I’m basically right.
So there’s that, my top 5 situations in which I used to be very happy to be single. What are yours? I’ll really try to finish some kind of “My Year 2015 Review”-post till the end of the week, but I want something different and creative. I thought maybe something like one word, song, picture and/or quote for every month? Rankings? Pie charts? Any ideas?
*Remember this is all coming from a very jealous and possessive person. I should maybe start taking my own advice at some point.